Another beautifully lost dreamer with an incurable case of wanderlust.

21st Century Friendships

I believe that people’s idea of friendship has changed over the years and will carry on changing if we don’t do something about it! Think of a friend, new or old. Now think about the last time you had a proper conversation. I’m not talking about a Whatsapp message or a Facebook share! When did you last catch up over coffee or call them? Have you helped them through a tough time, or have they been there for you when you needed it the most? Do you really know this friend, the small details of their life that not everybody would know? I have a handful of great friends. I understand that it’s normal that you drift apart slightly when growing up; being in relationships, having children and moving to the other side of the world, but with time flying by and us all being so caught up in our own lives, I feel like some of my closest friends and I hardly even know each other anymore. This post isn’t about blaming anybody for this, as it takes two to tango, but I wanted to raise the awareness of these ‘lazy’ friendships so we can all make that little bit more effort and treasure those genuine friends that we have in our lives.

I believe that there are a few factors in our lives that have made us passive when it comes to being pals.

Social Media isn’t always very social. There are so many forms of social media and we all have heaps and heaps of ‘friends’ that it becomes hard to keep up. We substitute conversation with a quick message or tweet. It’s fun and harmless but we shouldn’t let these forms of contact be our main port of call when wanting to chat! We have also become too reliant on social media; we use it for wishing our mate a happy birthday (because we had no-fucking-idea it was their birthday until Facebook told us it was) and for sending Christmas wishes, exam luck and any other generic message for every other special occasion! Social Media is also a way of people to only share the best bits. (I’m completely guilty of this too!) We love to post photos of the beach with happy-go-lucky statuses about how awesome our lives are and we choose to leave out the depressing bits in-between. This is pretty ironic really, because those depressing bits in-between are when we sit in our rooms, feeling lonely and craving our friends that are a million miles away. With all this sugar coating bullshit, it’s hard to know people properly.

We are all getting lazy, yet, we expect more. We live in a throwaway society where we expect too much of every aspect of our lives and if we don’t get what we want, we get rid of it or ignore it. What happened to fighting for the things that we should value? We live in a material world and often snub little touches that could make someone’s day.  Sending a card in the post and turning up on a friend’s doorstep with a movie isn’t even heard of much anymore. A friend of mine recently wrote to me and after a long day at work, it really made me smile. Now we’ve decided to bring back the days of pen-pal’ing! It’s quite therapeutic writing a letter with a cup of tea! (Minus the hand cramp!)

My Mum always had a ‘birthday book’ when I was growing up, where she would write down everyone’s birthday and make sure she posts their cards in time. Such a small, low maintenance task makes you the friend that always remembers their special day! Have you ever had a friend forget your birthday? It’s a pretty crappy feeling. You don’t want to be that friend, do you?

Real friends are rare but you know who they are. They are the friends that you don’t always have to be in contact with but when you see or talk to them again, it’s the same as where you left off. Conversations flow and you know you are always there for each other, no matter what!

I don’t want to ramble too much, so here’s what I’m trying to get at…

Be thoughtful, be grateful and let’s all try not to be lazy friends! I know I’m going to put a lot more effort in.



One comment

  1. Very accurate reflections Sam. The world has changed significantly and the thought of social media has impacted how we connect with people. It is true though that for me, I’d much rather be in face to face company of the people I value rather than regular contact on the web with meaningless messages. These social media formats don’t provide a true insight into how people really are.

    In May we will be catching up with one of the closest and most dearest friends of mine. Life got in the way as such that we haven’t seen each other for 2 years! That is ridiculous. I’ve spoken numerous times to her on the phone and know that life has been exceptionally tough for her. To actually see her, give her and hug and for us to tell her how much she means to us is only something you can really do in person.

    Friendships are so valuable. You only know the true value of a friendship when it is not there anymore. We should cherish everyday and the people around us.

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