Another beautifully lost dreamer with an incurable case of wanderlust.

Housemate Stereotypes

WARNING – DON’T READ IF EASILY OFFENDED!

Which one are you?…

The pet loving ones

These housemates are the type that finds comfort in that permanent wet dog smell. They like to talk about their pets constantly and post hundreds of photos of their pets on every social media channel going. Be wary where you leave your clothes, you don’t want the dog to eat your G-string. Also, be vigilant when sitting down, you don’t want to upset the dog and sit in his space on the sofa! Their pets often rule the house, whether it is an indoor bunny or a cat that will only eat smoked salmon. Quite often these people grow old, accumulating animals and talking to them as if they are humans; you know, in that patronising baby voice.

The messy ones

Messy ones are quite possibly, the worst kind of housemate. These people are quite often selfish, oblivious to the world around them and unaware how miserable they are making their fellow housemates. They tend to leave moldy food on the kitchen side for days and they don’t even know what that green liquid next to the sink is called. These housemates are sometimes smelly, as they generally only wash clothes on special occasions. They leave little black curly hairs in the shower and have obviously never been taught how to use a hoover. They pretty much need house training all together. Maybe the pet loving ones can help?

The passive aggressive ones

These housemates are generally a result of someone who is living with a messy one. Passive aggressive housemates like to send out angry group texts, sometimes even naming and shaming the main culprit. Their food often has their names written all over it and they sometimes even invest in some of those alphabet magnets so they can leave outrageous messages on the fridge!

The ones who can only cook pasta

Not the most domesticated of the housemates, but, they try. These housemates are normally found relaxing on the sofa in front of a Disney movie eating their latest experimental pasta dish, this time with overcooked chicken (to make sure they don’t poison themselves) and tinned tomatoes! Another form of these housemates are the ones who only get takeout. These housemates don’t cook at all and their lounge room is often scattered with plastic Chinese food containers and pizza boxes. Takeout usually comes hand in hand with watching sport or playing video games, so it’s good to avoid the living room during this time.

The drunk ones

These housemates are the masters of getting day drunk. Casual work and unsociable shifts are normally to blame for this. If you live with a drunk one, it may be a good idea to start your own bottle bank. You’ll be saving the environment in no time.

The slutty ones

A different evening means a different partner. Don’t even try to keep up with names, you’ll only slip up and get your housemate in to trouble. When you get introduced to yet another one night stand, it’s best to smile, nod and try and forget what they are called as soon as possible. A smart investment for you, if you live with a slutty one would be a pair of Dre Beats. If you are guilty of the above, my advice to you would be to move your bed away from the wall and buy a gag. Seriously, nobody needs to scream that loudly.

The antisocial ones

They like to stay in their bedroom pretty much all the time. You can often go days and even weeks without seeing these types of housemate. If you have an antisocial housemate, maybe it’s time to take a look at what kind of housemate you are. It maybe personal…

The ones who need to learn about personal space

Then we have the opposite. I’m talking about the types of housemates that walk in on your relaxing bath, knock on your door when you’re getting frisky and like to sit and chat to you outside the door while you’re in the toilet. Sometimes, personal boundaries are crossed and it is often these guys who cross them.

The homely ones

These housemates are a pleasant type of person to live with. They enjoy cleaning, cooking and making the house a pretty place to be. We value these housemates and we are a huge fan of those yummy smelling incense sticks that they bring home.

The freeloading ones

These housemates are sneaky. Keep an eye on them. And your toothpaste!

The perfect ones

These people are a very rare species of housemate. They are thoughtful, domestic, polite, financially stable and reliable. They seem to have a never ending supply of anything you could even need and they never leave a dirty dish in the sink. If you are lucky enough to come across a perfect housemate, you should probably renew you’re lease together for the next twenty years.

If you want to read more about the types of people I have come across during my travels, you can check out Backpacker and Holidaymaker stereotypes!

2 comments

  1. I’m a mix between the drunk one and the perfect one – is that possible?

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